At 9am this morning a peaceful neighbourhood in Connecticut was awoken to a sight of complete devastation, Frost had killed 3 sweet peppers outright and a egg plant and Tomato are on the critical list, Frost had fled the crime scene and believed to be heading for the Canadian Border.
Officials are said to be looking into the rumour that an incompetent Gardener may have contributed to the disaster by not following official guidance on the Health and Safety of plants.
"it has come to our attention that despite warnings that Frost was in the area, the gardener responsible for these innocent plants, did not follow basic safety procedures, in this instance the covering of her charges with a upturned 2 litre soda bottle, our investigators have found evidence that this equipment was just inches away from the beleaguered plants and they must have been tormented in their last few hours that the means to save them was so close" stated Artie Choke, lead investigator into the tragedy.
Sources close to the gardener have reported that on realising the dangers to her charges, attempted to save them and on getting to her door is said to have been forced to retreat back due the the cold, stating "f23k me! its brass monkeys out there!"
The investigation continues and charges of negligence have not been ruled out.
Reporter Tom Mater, for Yukon Gold News Network.
***News Update Eggplant and Tomato dispite heroic attemps to save them, where pronouced Compost at 2pm ECT***
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Curse you David Frost! Curse you to heeeeellll!!
ReplyDelete...hey, do you think it was him that destroyed the Blue Peter garden, too?
Yes Nixon got off lightly!
ReplyDeleteCould have been Frost with the garden but I think Paxman is the quilty party he has an evil look and I just bet Percy Thrower mispronouced some latin plant name and he just saw red and went bolistic!