Sunday, Sunday so bad to me

Hi this is my Sunday... you may need counseling after this! I know I do!
okay up 6.30 am, which was Bliss... for some reason my twin things had predicted the clock change 3 days ago and had been waking me at 5.30. in actual fact it was 7.30 with the change which is their normal wake up, mummy it's day! 6.30am amazing.
So I got up breakfast, PBS Kids, Ciggie, cup of tea, last two me, I am not conducting experiments!!!! and outside....Ciggie that is!
So far so good, go upstairs at 7am (or 8 with time change) to get dressed, wake up at 9.30! (10.30) DH tells me he was woken at 7.15 (8.15) by the small people, so I get up another cup of tea, and cunning plan...
DH I whisper, I am going to have a bath, this is not sexual, its just I haven't managed a bath on my own at home for 4 yrs... so I creep up the stairs, fill bath and decide in my moment of decadence that I will crack open my Jasmine candles...I opened one! small person 2 appears...looks at the bath and starts to strip off...........No!!!
I give in, and put the candles to one side, dip one toe in the bath and number 1 son appears, strips off and is in the bath before I can react!!!!
so I get in... the bath is the biggest bath known to mankind it is a huge spar bath thing and even me at my 5 foot 7 and 3/4 inches can lye comfortably with room for maneuver... not that I have ever had the pleasure! anyway, today was the worse ever, the boys have discovered the "bubble seats" so I end up width wise with my knees by my ears, and the Bill Bryson I am trying to read somewhere near the plughole!
Little bit of history here, I have twins and number 2 son was potty trained at 2 and number 1 son has steadfast refused to be potty trained, but the last 3 weeks hurray mostly dry, as in every third day an accident, which is hard to understand as number 2 son had 2 accidents on the first day and since then 2 accidents, both my fault "can you hang on?" and an hour later I had forgotten....bad mummy...
So on this note bath! number one son says I need wee wees, I try and get him out of the bath and he is reluctant to go to the toilet, forcibly eject him and he comes back saying I've been, I haven't heard a flush so I ask DH when he appears with a cup of tea, can you check...nothing...number 1 son "did you do a wee wee in the bath?" big smile "yes it made the water yellow"!!!!!!!!!
So, So much for my bath, hair remained unwashed for obvious reasons. got dressed and came down stairs, both boys dressed and out in the Yard, my plants in the sun room! jury out... number 2 son thinks that when a leaf appears its ready for picking!
Outside... both sons exhibit a wilful disregard for living beyond 4, rock jumping, running each other over, by means of the victim actually lying in front of the moving object!, hitting each other with big sticks, you may think why don't you stop them? but they have an amazing telepathy with enables them to communicate without words, and one of them will act as a decoy, I learnt this to my cost when they where 13 months old and couldn't speak and one locked me in the toilet whilst the other escaped out the front door by means of a chair!! believe me it isn't dignified to run up the road hauling you underwear and trousers up...
TO BE CONTINUED....we are at 11 am!